In my 20's, I got left out a lot because I was married but had no children.
Now I'm in my 30's and getting left out of things because I am married and have small children.
Apparently I just can't get it right
- according to other people.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Perfect Sandwich
So, as I was making sandwiches on a new style of bread bun for my husband's lunch this morning, I came to the conclusion that a hot dog was too small, and a sub/hoagie would be too big. Then I burst out laughing as I realized I had not only defined the right size sandwich bun for the container, but also defined the perfectly-sized 'package'.
;-)
;-)
Sunday, September 27, 2009
New Mom Tips
New Mother Advice ~ for a friend expecting her first child
Many months ago, the new wife of an old friend who is expecting their first child asked me for advice.
I have mulled it over and considered what to say many, many times; but have yet to say what I wanted to tell her. I realized this advice should just become a blog entry, so here it is at last. I hope you don't deliver before I finish, C.! *OOPS, too late! Congrats! :P*
The first few weeks are just survival, for you and baby. Baby's needs are basic, physical, and frequent. Feeding, burping, sleeping, holding, and adoring the new little one are about all you are going to do. Keep him close.
My children were brought home to a multi-story house, so I had a diapering station, cradle, and rocking chair on both levels. A cradle in the living room next to the sofa in the living room and another next to our bed upstairs worked very well. I kept the baby where I was, so during the day he stayed downstairs, and at night upstairs.
BTW, a diapering station is not necessarily a changing table. In our bedroom and his, I just have the basics on a headboard, bookcase, or bathroom counter, and change him on the bed. In short time, you'll be able to change dipies in near darkness.
Diapering Hint: Use Vaseline all over the diaper area, EVERY TIME. This prevents diaper rash, AND makes poop easier to clean off! Especially if you have a boy, that tiny wrinkly scrotum is not something you or he are going to want you trying to get poop off of. The Vaseline makes everything non-stick ;).
Another great thing about breastfeeding: Your baby's poop doesn't stink, nor his spit up either. It's an ugly wake-up sniff when they start eating solids around 6 months, though!
Successful sleeping secrets:
Warm the cradle. My mom taught me this one, and it's priceless. So many times, your baby will fall asleep on warm, comfy you, after nursing or rocking. You carefully get up, struggling to keep the baby in the same position he fell asleep in, and creep carefully to the cradle. Bending over gently, you place your little one down onto cold sheets. He immediately wakes up and screams for a return to the warmth of your arms. If you will put a heating pad onto the sleeping surface beforehand, it will warm his bed and help with this key moment of transition.
I got very good at balancing on one leg and removing the the heating pad with the toes of the other foot when ready to place a baby in the cradle. (Mothering books don't mention this but it does help if you practice tai chi and have prehensile toes. LOL!) Otherwise, do the best you can to keep baby stable in one arm and remove the heating pad in a more conventional way ;).
I remember being able to do just about anything with a baby dozing in one arm; basic bodily functions, simple household tasks, you name it. Nursing and sleeping on me are the only times i had and still have to be on the computer. Which is why it's taken months to type this much! I usually only have one hand. :)
If you and your baby use a sling or other baby wearing device, that will improve things for you quite a bit.
I find quite high success in laying my children down and keeping them sleeping. My secret to that is primarily to keep changes to an extreme minimum. By that I mean, keep the child in the same position, support the body in ways that keeps things from drooping or flopping as you carry, and put them on a warm, supportive surface. I should add a video here, probably.
Rebel Mom speaks out: I let my children sleep on their tummies.
I know, I know! This is at odds with current practice and the anti-SIDS 'back to sleep' campaigns. However, for previous generations, the advice was to put children to sleep on their stomachs. This was to prevent potentially drowning in your own spit-up, apparently (still a problem with drunk college kids, however!)
My mother put us to sleep on our tummies. It seems to help the babies sleep more soundly and longer. If you think about it, no animal sleeps on its back. Every animal protects the tender, vulnerable underside. It is natural and comfortable.
My children could raise and turn their heads almost from birth. With that ability, and with the increase in sleep quality and length, I felt comfortable enough to let my kids continue sleeping the way they fell asleep, which usually meant on their tummies.
Also, we had no increased risk factors for SIDS: our children breastfed, in a non-smoking home, were full-term, healthy, regular weight. Some reports are showing that SIDS may be caused by a fault in the portion of the brain that regulates how deeply we sleep. I do follow all the other anti-SIDS advice. No blankets, decorations, pillows, bumpers in the crib/cradle.
Instead of blankets, I highly recommend the sleep sacks you can get for babies. They are common now, and you can even buy them at W-Mart. It looks like a sleeping bag with arm and neck holes. They zip bottom to top so that you can change the diaper without having to take the baby out of his sleep sack. These things are great! They come in various weights for the seasons. Wear them over just a diaper in hot weather, with a short or long sleeve tee shirt or onesie in cool.
White noise is for me, indispensable. White noise helps cover up the occasional noises that can disturb a light sleeper, like creaking stairs, toilet flushes, parental talk, TV, street noise, pet barking/meowing/litter scratching, and just about anything else. It will probably help you sleep too.
Rebel Mom speaks out: Don't wake the spouse! I know I'm terribly old fashioned in many ways. This is one. I don't ask my husband to wake up during the night and take care of the babies.
He works a physically demanding job and needs a full night's rest to recharge. I would not want him operating power tools or installing sheet rock single handedly on top of a ladder while drowsy!! It could be detrimental or even deadly for me to insist he wake up and "do his half" during the night.
If I am drowsy while nursing or playing on the floor with my baby, likely no one will be hurt. The risk of injury or death is a lot less if I make the sacrifice of sleep, than if I let him go do his job with minimal sleep.
Secondly, and especially with the first baby, the mom can nap when the baby does, and should. Dad at work probably can't take a nap.
Third, most mothers wake up at the slightest noise from the baby. I'm no exception. Husband sleeps easily and HARD. (I am very envious.) If I waited for my husband to wake up with the baby at night, the poor baby would have escalated from whimpers to full-on freak-out screaming before my husband would be roused. So I would already be awake anyway. What advantage is that? Now we're both awake, and additionally the baby will be harder to get back to sleep. Calming a baby is a lot easier if you don't let him get too far down the path to a full-on, freak-out fit.
Fourth, usually upon waking, a new baby is going to want to eat. I'm the one with the breasts. So I'll need to be awake, at least partially.
Therefore I can't see any reason to wake up my husband or let him be woken up during the night by a new baby. It shocks others, but makes sense to us.
I hope you'll consider and give my advice some thought and a try in your newly expanded family. Babies are amazing little blessings! Good luck!
Books I Recommend Getting and Reading:
La Leche' League: The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.
Wonderful, a bible to be kept close, and it covers much more than just breastfeeding.
Dr. Harvey Karp: The Happiest Baby on the Block.
Read it, follow it, and those first three months of desperation will go so much more smoothly and be much less desperate. This book, if read and followed, could reduce child abuse to a large degree. Also get the Happiest Toddler on the Block for the next few years as well. Karp's books are innovative, make sense, and his advice WORKS. You will bless yourself and your children. If I could, I would give this book to every new parent.
Drs. Robert H. Pantell, James F. Fries, Donald M. Vickery: Taking Care of Your Child: A Parent's Illustrated Guide to Complete Medical Care
A simple and complete guide with flowcharts to assist you in deciding whether and what to do for almost any ailment or injury. Marvelous and proven to reduce doctor visits. Get the adult version by the same authors (Fries & Vickery) for yourself. Very reassuring to have at your fingertips.
What to Expect When You are Expecting and What to Expect the First Year. In general, these books are good and reassuring, with answers to lots of questions of all kinds.
Many months ago, the new wife of an old friend who is expecting their first child asked me for advice.
I have mulled it over and considered what to say many, many times; but have yet to say what I wanted to tell her. I realized this advice should just become a blog entry, so here it is at last. I hope you don't deliver before I finish, C.! *OOPS, too late! Congrats! :P*
The first few weeks are just survival, for you and baby. Baby's needs are basic, physical, and frequent. Feeding, burping, sleeping, holding, and adoring the new little one are about all you are going to do. Keep him close.
My children were brought home to a multi-story house, so I had a diapering station, cradle, and rocking chair on both levels. A cradle in the living room next to the sofa in the living room and another next to our bed upstairs worked very well. I kept the baby where I was, so during the day he stayed downstairs, and at night upstairs.
BTW, a diapering station is not necessarily a changing table. In our bedroom and his, I just have the basics on a headboard, bookcase, or bathroom counter, and change him on the bed. In short time, you'll be able to change dipies in near darkness.
Diapering Hint: Use Vaseline all over the diaper area, EVERY TIME. This prevents diaper rash, AND makes poop easier to clean off! Especially if you have a boy, that tiny wrinkly scrotum is not something you or he are going to want you trying to get poop off of. The Vaseline makes everything non-stick ;).
Another great thing about breastfeeding: Your baby's poop doesn't stink, nor his spit up either. It's an ugly wake-up sniff when they start eating solids around 6 months, though!
Successful sleeping secrets:
Warm the cradle. My mom taught me this one, and it's priceless. So many times, your baby will fall asleep on warm, comfy you, after nursing or rocking. You carefully get up, struggling to keep the baby in the same position he fell asleep in, and creep carefully to the cradle. Bending over gently, you place your little one down onto cold sheets. He immediately wakes up and screams for a return to the warmth of your arms. If you will put a heating pad onto the sleeping surface beforehand, it will warm his bed and help with this key moment of transition.
I got very good at balancing on one leg and removing the the heating pad with the toes of the other foot when ready to place a baby in the cradle. (Mothering books don't mention this but it does help if you practice tai chi and have prehensile toes. LOL!) Otherwise, do the best you can to keep baby stable in one arm and remove the heating pad in a more conventional way ;).
I remember being able to do just about anything with a baby dozing in one arm; basic bodily functions, simple household tasks, you name it. Nursing and sleeping on me are the only times i had and still have to be on the computer. Which is why it's taken months to type this much! I usually only have one hand. :)
If you and your baby use a sling or other baby wearing device, that will improve things for you quite a bit.
I find quite high success in laying my children down and keeping them sleeping. My secret to that is primarily to keep changes to an extreme minimum. By that I mean, keep the child in the same position, support the body in ways that keeps things from drooping or flopping as you carry, and put them on a warm, supportive surface. I should add a video here, probably.
Rebel Mom speaks out: I let my children sleep on their tummies.
I know, I know! This is at odds with current practice and the anti-SIDS 'back to sleep' campaigns. However, for previous generations, the advice was to put children to sleep on their stomachs. This was to prevent potentially drowning in your own spit-up, apparently (still a problem with drunk college kids, however!)
My mother put us to sleep on our tummies. It seems to help the babies sleep more soundly and longer. If you think about it, no animal sleeps on its back. Every animal protects the tender, vulnerable underside. It is natural and comfortable.
My children could raise and turn their heads almost from birth. With that ability, and with the increase in sleep quality and length, I felt comfortable enough to let my kids continue sleeping the way they fell asleep, which usually meant on their tummies.
Also, we had no increased risk factors for SIDS: our children breastfed, in a non-smoking home, were full-term, healthy, regular weight. Some reports are showing that SIDS may be caused by a fault in the portion of the brain that regulates how deeply we sleep. I do follow all the other anti-SIDS advice. No blankets, decorations, pillows, bumpers in the crib/cradle.
Instead of blankets, I highly recommend the sleep sacks you can get for babies. They are common now, and you can even buy them at W-Mart. It looks like a sleeping bag with arm and neck holes. They zip bottom to top so that you can change the diaper without having to take the baby out of his sleep sack. These things are great! They come in various weights for the seasons. Wear them over just a diaper in hot weather, with a short or long sleeve tee shirt or onesie in cool.
Get a large blanket or the pre-made swaddlers. Most blankets are not big enough to properly swaddle your baby. Get Dr. Karp's book (below) and practice swaddling. It really does work! Babies startle frequently, an arm shoots out for no seeming reason and they wake themselves up. Swaddling helps with that as well as replicating the tight confines they are used to.
One the the wonderful and useful concepts in Dr. Karp's book is that babies will be most happy, comfortable, and content if you do your best to replicate the conditions the baby had in the womb. On the inside, he was constantly fed, kept to a constant temperature, rocked (or sloshed is more like it), tightly confined, and exposed to a constant loud white noise.
White noise is for me, indispensable. White noise helps cover up the occasional noises that can disturb a light sleeper, like creaking stairs, toilet flushes, parental talk, TV, street noise, pet barking/meowing/litter scratching, and just about anything else. It will probably help you sleep too.
Rebel Mom speaks out: Don't wake the spouse! I know I'm terribly old fashioned in many ways. This is one. I don't ask my husband to wake up during the night and take care of the babies.
He works a physically demanding job and needs a full night's rest to recharge. I would not want him operating power tools or installing sheet rock single handedly on top of a ladder while drowsy!! It could be detrimental or even deadly for me to insist he wake up and "do his half" during the night.
If I am drowsy while nursing or playing on the floor with my baby, likely no one will be hurt. The risk of injury or death is a lot less if I make the sacrifice of sleep, than if I let him go do his job with minimal sleep.
Secondly, and especially with the first baby, the mom can nap when the baby does, and should. Dad at work probably can't take a nap.
Third, most mothers wake up at the slightest noise from the baby. I'm no exception. Husband sleeps easily and HARD. (I am very envious.) If I waited for my husband to wake up with the baby at night, the poor baby would have escalated from whimpers to full-on freak-out screaming before my husband would be roused. So I would already be awake anyway. What advantage is that? Now we're both awake, and additionally the baby will be harder to get back to sleep. Calming a baby is a lot easier if you don't let him get too far down the path to a full-on, freak-out fit.
Fourth, usually upon waking, a new baby is going to want to eat. I'm the one with the breasts. So I'll need to be awake, at least partially.
Therefore I can't see any reason to wake up my husband or let him be woken up during the night by a new baby. It shocks others, but makes sense to us.
I hope you'll consider and give my advice some thought and a try in your newly expanded family. Babies are amazing little blessings! Good luck!
Books I Recommend Getting and Reading:
La Leche' League: The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.
Wonderful, a bible to be kept close, and it covers much more than just breastfeeding.
Dr. Harvey Karp: The Happiest Baby on the Block.
Read it, follow it, and those first three months of desperation will go so much more smoothly and be much less desperate. This book, if read and followed, could reduce child abuse to a large degree. Also get the Happiest Toddler on the Block for the next few years as well. Karp's books are innovative, make sense, and his advice WORKS. You will bless yourself and your children. If I could, I would give this book to every new parent.
Drs. Robert H. Pantell, James F. Fries, Donald M. Vickery: Taking Care of Your Child: A Parent's Illustrated Guide to Complete Medical Care
A simple and complete guide with flowcharts to assist you in deciding whether and what to do for almost any ailment or injury. Marvelous and proven to reduce doctor visits. Get the adult version by the same authors (Fries & Vickery) for yourself. Very reassuring to have at your fingertips.
What to Expect When You are Expecting and What to Expect the First Year. In general, these books are good and reassuring, with answers to lots of questions of all kinds.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
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